Tuesday, January 20, 2009
In Review: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the best cereal ever
It is widely regarded that Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal is the best cereal ever.
Each piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal is handcrafted painstakingly by not one, not two, but THREE tiny pastry chefs. Head Chef, Wendell, with well over 20 years experience, oversees the cereal production quality control. His assistants specialize in using spoons and juggling spice shakers, their skills combining artfully to create "taste you can see."
Unlike the nefarious elf-chefs of rivaling Rice Krispies cereal, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch trio does not require the use of magic or the dark arts to aid in cereal production. Additionally, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal can be eaten in situations when "crackle pop" distractions are discouraged. For this reason, CTC is the number one choice of cereals to be eaten at movie theatres, doctors offices, and Buddhist monasteries.
While one could argue in favor of the famed 'Rice Krispies Treat,' I posit that CTC can stand alone, content and divine without the addition of marshmallow fluff. Truly, CTC is more than just a cereal. Crumbled, it is a lovely addition to vanilla ice cream, but can also be used as an exfoliating facial scrub. Its superior milk by-product is delicious alone or used in recipes.
Many health benefits have been linked to Cinnamon Toast Crunch such as increased levels of Sweet Dreams and Joyfulness, and a 97% reduction in the occurrence of shark attacks. Studies have shown a direct correlation between CTC and stable marriages.*
*citation verification required